Pursuers and Withdrawers: Episode 2- Honoring Pursuers

Connecting Couples Podcast: Series: Pursuers and Withdrawers 
Episode 2: “Honoring Pursuers” Show Notes.

First 5 minutes:
Pursuers are really working hard to stay connected and to help the relationship stay connected.
Pursuers are HOPEFULL. They believe that the efforts they are contributing are really going to work! Pursuers are RESOURCEFUL.

They are going to try everything possibly to help the relationship thrive.

Pursers are Resilient and Creative. They have a lot of words and try hard to be clear or are very willing to clarify if you ask them for more understanding. Pursuers will take a risk to share what they are feeling and thinking if they feel there is a chance it will help.

Minutes 5-10:
Pursuers notice the problems and call them out with the intent that it will help their partner know what needs to be fixed. Pursers what things to run efficiently so a pursuers body will help them hone out what might slow down efficiency. The motivation of a purser is to do whatever is needed to help the relationship go well. Pursuers manage all the details.

Pursuers are making efforts for connection. They might not always be able to articulate that they ‘need’ their withdrawers, but the deep motivation is to connect. Pursuers discern disconnection and threat because they want to get out ahead of it.
 
Minutes 10-15:
Pursuers not only notice what might be going wrong, they take the risk to bring attention to it so that it can get addressed and the connection can be restored. Pursers are cheerleaders for people around them. The see everyone’s ‘potential’ and want to help them reach it. Pursuers want to share the insight they see about those around them and are pushing for everyone to be their best.

Pursers really are fighting hard for themselves, for their relationship, for their partners, for their families etc…. They are hoping for and seeking out feedback so that they can improve themselves. From books, from others, from a therapist, from a workshop. They are looking to improve themselves as well as those around them.

Connect Point: Both partners honor one good thing about the pursuer in their relationship.

For more information about Chad and Angela, check out their website: www.therealimhoffs.com