Healing From Past Wounds: Episode 6- Can You Talk About It?

Episode 6: Show Notes

 

First 5 minutes:

Intro- Chad and Angela are bringing to you different areas where they have tension in our interactions and show you have to navigate the conversations. Both of us have experiences that are valid and deserve to be responded to, but when they push up against each other, who gets seen or heard? We’re trying to determine if some of these are “Raw Spots” or past wounds, or if they are something else.

 

T.E.M.P.: There is a Trigger, that brings an Emotion on line in our bodies, that activates a Meaning and moves us to Action. The topic that the Real Imhoffs discuss in this episode is ordering food at a restaurant.

 

Minutes 5-10:

Chad explains the process that happens for him when he orders food and it doesn’t come out to the expectation, and that makes him want to send the food back. Angela discusses the tension they experience because she has a different experience than he does that pushes against how he is going to respond.

 

A couple will often try to mitigate the problem without ever discussing it. Each person will make adjustments to how they have typically behaved and it hasn’t gone well, so each individual is trying to solve the problem on their own.

 

Minutes 10-15:

The goal for this is to be able to discuss patterns that are negative or that create tension and see if you can identify what is happening and can you solve the problem together to figure out what could make it better or different.

 

Can you identify what is going on and is it a raw spot or not? Are there any past experiences that could be influencing what is happening in the present? Angela discusses past experiences from childhood that trigger embarrassment and how those come on line when Chad wants to send food back.

 

Minutes 15-20:

Here is how you have the conversation- you have to be able to acknowledge that both Chad and Angela have valid experiences that deserve to been seen and responded to, but their experiences push up against each other and that is where the tension is.

 

Often a couple will just avoid these experiences where they can’t navigate the tension. Chad and Angela want couples to be able to have conversations about what is causing the tension and what they both need to show up for each other in these moments.

 

Connect Point:

We want you to consider how external expectations impact your internal conversations. Can the two of you how a conversation about what you both may need when external expectations did not get met and you might not see eye to eye on how to decrease the tension.

 

For more information about Chad and Angela Imhoff, visit their website at: www.therealimhoffs.com