Connecting Couples in Addiction: Episode 12- Recap and Resources

Episode 12: Recap and Resources

Show Notes

 

First 5 minutes:

Intro- In order to navigate these hard places, we often need a guide. We need help. We encourage you find resources and use them so that you can start to adjust the very strategies you needed when you were in an unhealthy place.

 

In this final episode of this series we are going to do a recap and offer resources. You might have tuned into this because someone told you to or because you wanted insight on your specific issue, but we may have missed it, because it’s impossible to cover all the outliers and nuances of this topic.

 

Often times people talk about what you need to STOP doing when it comes to an addiction, but we want to emphasize what TO DO. These five things help you get healthy and stay healthy.

1. Set safe guards in your life the remove the item you struggle with. Try to put some distance between you and your temptations.

2. Try to have self-awareness around some of your triggers and experiences are. Learning what is causing you to want the thing and what you think that thing will offer can help you make the adjustments you need.

3. What does it look like to self-care? Do you know what brings you joy and helps you feel well? Often it can be something that gets you moving or something that stimulates your brain.

 

Minutes 5-10:

4. Relationships is the fourth thing to consider. Its more than just a person. It is more of a community or group of people who understand my process and knows me.

5. The last one is knowing your story. Being able to embrace our own process, maybe even doing an inventory.

 

We’re reflecting on the scaffolding that the addict can put in place to become healthier, but we also want to reiterate the impact of a healthy attached partner. It’s not a goal for the partner to be the accountability partner of the addict, but we do encourage you to consider the strategies you developed during the addiction that you might need to shift in this healthier season.

 

We encourage both individual and couple’s therapy to discuss some of the long term consequences and damage that might need to be repaired. Addiction is the opposite of connection. To really start to shift the cycle of addiction, you need to consider going toward the places that need to be responded to and cared for. We not only get health around the ‘thing’, but we also build a healthier connection in our relationship.

 

We believe that even the hardest scenarios overcome and find healing and health.

 

Minutes 10-15:

We have hope for you, whatever process you are in. There is a way to replace disconnection and addiction with repair and connection. There is a way to find new community and new habits and a new way of living. Our culture tells us so many of the wrong things will satisfy us, but we have to have hope from something else.

 

We believe that there is hope in God, but we also have hope that someone is going to show up for us, even if we have never experienced that. If you can’t show up for your partner because there has been too much damage, we encourage you to get help. If you can clarify what the pain is and get responded to by a therapist or support group, then you can possibly consider starting to take that pain to your partner, and being there to respond to your partner’s pain.

 

A few of the resources that we’ve already mentioned and want to reiterate: Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and of the secular anonymous groups. Celebrate Recovery, is a faith based 12-step program that covers all the issues and is available nationwide also. You can check out www.celebraterecovery.com for a location near you.

 

We also recommend that if you get into therapy, that you see an Emotionally Focused Therapist. You can go do the website: www.iceeft.com to find an EFT therapist near you.

   

Connect Point:

In this connect point we want you to consider, what is the next step you need to take to be a healthier person?

 

To learn more about Chad and Angela and what they do, check out www.therealimhoffs.com